Incongruency is a part of our culture. We may say one thing or even tell others to do something, yet, many of us will do the opposite. How many times have you heard parents tell their children, “Do as I say, not as I do!” That is the ultimate in incongruency in the child’s mind.
I’ve also seen experts that focus on helping people go out and do the thing that they are supposedly helping their clients to stop doing. Preachers who preach against some sin, then will go out and commit that sin. Politicians that come across as a crime-fighter, going out and committing crimes. Incongruency again.
Most recently, I’ve seen some of this in social media. Even among so-called, support groups, we see those that supposedly lead, tearing down others because that leader didn’t get what he or she wanted. So it seems that bullies abound, even among these people. That is another example of being incongruent. Now, having said that, each of us has shown incongruency at times. Heck, I know that I have. It’s part of life.
Carl Rogers explains that to be completely congruent is difficult and those that are, tend to be fully self-actualized. When our ideal-self is in sync with our self-image, when we are authentic in every way, then and only then, are we being congruent. Authenticity seems to be used quite a bit nowadays. I wonder how many are completely that way. In social media we can be anything we want. Well, almost anything. I doubt many could get away with being President of the United States.
For the person who is congruent, opening up about his or her imperfections becomes more plausible. Since no one is perfect and should never strive to be, focusing on being your best self is the best anyone of us can hope for. That includes not tearing others down because they may have a difference of opinion.
BTW, since I think different than most of you and if you are of the mind to, then it’s okay to bash me. Especially my imperfections. The reality is that you are only projecting what is truly inside you. Of who you are.
Have fun,
Bob 
